World Tapir Day is fast approaching and here at Shed Quarters we’re one hundred percent backing it to the hilt! On Wednesday the 27th of April, the world will set aside it’s differences to recognize, on a global level, this magnificent, herbivorous mammal. Whether you’re an individual tapir or a candle of tapirs – yes, that’s the collective noun – we’ve got your furry back.
With the appearance of a child’s drawing, this pig/elephant chimera is actually related to the horse and the rhinoceros. Probably by marriage I expect. Much like a Daily Mail reader, the tapir’s ancient DNA is thought to have changed very little over millions of years and they represent a natural relic of the Miocene*.
The tapir’s history is, of course, intrinsically intertwined with that of whisky according to our marketing department, so we’ll be dedicating our next unrelated release to the tapir for World Tapir Day and will use some of the profits raised to buy a poster for the office. Of a Tapir of course. Perhaps a family photo with uncle horse and aunty rhinoceros.
That next release is our second batch of Aultmore 11 year old, a firm favourite in the tapir community I’m sure**. Adorning the bottle we encounter the Beast of Foggy Moss once again, this time looking even more menacing than batch #1. Given the horse/rhino thing, I would wager that The Beast of Foggy Moss may itself be a cousin twice removed or such like and almost certainly is in terms of leveraging whisky sales.
Tapirs usually eat seasonal fruits, having shunned non seasonal imports and shown unwavering support for organic, locally produced goods. Our Linkwood 11 years old is bursting with fruit flavours, the sort of thing a tapir would appreciate and enjoy nosing with its prehensile trunk. Likewise, the juicy fruity notes of our Glenshiel 10 would no doubt appeal to the 14 toed*** jungle pig. However, we should remind you all at this juncture, not to feed tapirs, or any other animal, distilled spirits. The tenuous link is for marketing purposes only.
More spurious tapir links
Like our whisky, these animals are vanishingly rare. And whilst your call to action today is to buy our whisky while you can, extinction is essentially the name of the game with our products. Grab one now as they will soon be gone and that’s it. Forever!
However, the tapirs’ numbers are to be preserved and, hopefully, improved upon. Not so they can be flipped at a later date but to save what is a wonderful, gloriously unusual animal. It’s habitats in South America and Asia are being impacted by, guess who, us. Numbers are small. Not much more that 10,000 across 4 species of this amazing time warp of an animal.
The tapir is weird, and it’s quirky – much like marketing a Shed to sell whisky – and it makes the world a better place (yet another point of overlap in the tapir/whisky/Shed Ven diagram). Tapirs are fabulous and deserve their World Day whole heartedly. They also deserve better from humans so be on the side of tapirs or look elsewhere for your dramming needs.
Don’t forget to raise a glass of fine whisky to the tapirs on World Tapir Day and use our handy tapir, whisky matching guide to home in on your ideal dram.
Handy tapir, whisky matching guide:
Glenshiel 10 – for fans of the South American tapir this dram is ideal. Fruity notes and apple crumble, with vanilla custard and coconut joining the fun thanks to a fabulous 1st fill bourbon barrel. Like this rare mammal, the Glenshiel stands out as a thing of genuine beauty.
Aultmore 11 Batch 2 – Mountain tapir your thing? The chestnut brown tones of this sherried malt will remind you of the woolly tapir’s fine dark fur coat. Raisins, chocolate and gentle whisp of smoke will make any prehensile nose twitch with excitement.
Linkwood 11 – Malayan tapir territory. The connoisseur’s choice of tapir. The fruit and floral notes of this Linkwood are just a joy to behold with wonderous tropical notes that the Malayan tapir would be all too familiar with from feasting on fruit form the forest floor.
So, whether you chose your whisky by your tapir or your tapir according to your whisky, The Sipping Shed has you uniquely covered. Grab your matched whisky in time for World Tapir Day and toast to your favourite tapir on Wednesday the 27th of April. You can find the link to our shop at the top of the page.
Keep your eye’s peeled for Aultmore 11 batch #2 available in time for World Tapir Day 2022.
*Like ‘Jurrasic’ but you haven’t heard of it. Ages ago essentially.
**I mean it might not be. But it’s really good so one could assume that if there was a tapir community engaged in small batch single cask whisky in anyway, this could potentially become a firm favourite.
*** Before your mind explodes its 4 toes on the front feet, 3 on the back feet. No half toes anywhere.